Monday, June 19, 2006

Why?

Why are summers so much shorter than when I was in school. I remember having 3 months to enjoy the sun, traveling and and still have time for band and dance camp. It is now almost the end of June and there will be only one month left untill my kids go back to school the first wk of August.

Well I must hurry off to the pool before they close it for the summer. (whimper)

If anyone actualy reads my blog...How long is your summer vacation from school?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

My Father's day present

It is so hard to buy things for Bubba. I got him a couple of movies, and a couple of old video games. (that he will never play). So instead.... I got a new deck built on to my bedroom. I cannot wait to lay out there while the kids play in the sprinkler.

Happy father's day to Richard and John! I love you both.

Friday, June 16, 2006

WE ARE NOT A DOG ORPHANAGE

I am getting really sick of every dog with no home or that has escaped from it's home to take refuge in my yard!! We have had in the past year at least 6 dogs take up temp. Residence on my front porch!

Just yesterday it was a golden retriever w/ some sort of skin condition. And NOAH let him in the house. He got up on the couch and I had to drag him out. Now I have to steam clean my couch (like I don't have anything else I need to do). There was a black lab mixed w/ chow ( his tounge was black) who lived here for about 2 months off and on. And a Bassett Hound about 7 months ago whom after about 2 weeks we decided to keep and named "Lucy" and then she ran away after about 2 months. Last year there was a blonde chow mix under our house! A friend of ours took that one in.

Anyway, I'm done venting.

And whatever Is going on with John......IT'S KILLING ME TO KNOW!!!!! TELL US , PLEASE!!!!!

Monday, June 12, 2006

For my southern friends

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you general direction of "yonder." ( I still can't figure this one out.) Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly"is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. ( my kids know that one.) All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the conceptwell. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy ( bubba is a good ol' boy , FYI ), and po' white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ...and when we're "in line"... we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, yall is singular .... all yall is plural. Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. (EWWWW!!)Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened ( I still like unsweet tea.). "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way. And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts,I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all yall need a sign to hang on yalls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."Bless your hearts ... yall have a blessed day.

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?""Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.""How about transportation?" the father asked."I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.""We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

A WOMAN WHO READS

One morning her husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and begins to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies. (thinking isn't that obvious?).
"You're in a restricted fishing area", he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL of this STORY

Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Because it's bible school week

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer.
They had been going at it for days, and frankly Godwas tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They E-mailed.
They E-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than Hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work andI don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

Monday, June 05, 2006

Plenty of stupid stuff to say.

My brother has challenged us to post something everyday in the month of june. So I am telling you that I will be posting a bunch of stupid stuff on here just to keep up. ( he has not posted today. yet)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

FYI

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. I wonder who volunteered to find that out.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

PANCACKE MIX WARNING

Check the date of your Bisquick!!!

VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH!! FOR YOUR SAFETYAND THOSE THAT YOU LOVE DEAR ABBY:
I recently made a batch of pancakes for my healthy 14-year-old son, using a mix that was in our pantry. He said that they tasted "funny,"but ate them anyway. About 10 minutes later, he began having difficultybreathing and his lips began turning purple. I gave him his allergy pill, had him sit on the sofa and told him to relax. He was wheezingwhile inhaling and exhaling. My husband, a volunteer firefighter andEMT, heated up some water, and we had my son lean over the water so thesteam could clear his chest and sinuses. Soon, his breathing became moreregular and his lips returned to a more normal color. We checked thedate on the box of pancake mix and, to my dismay, found it was veryoutdated. As a reference librarian at an academic institution, I have the ability to search through many research databases. I did just that,and found an article the next day that mentioned a 19-year-old maleDYING after eating pancakes made with outdated mix. Apparently, the mold that forms in old pancake mix can be toxic! When we told our friendsabout my son's close call, we were surprised at the number of people whomentioned that they should check their own pancake mix since they don't use it often, or they had purchased it some time ago. With so manypeople shopping at warehouse-type stores and buying large sizes ofpancake mix, I hope your readers will take the time to check theexpiration date on their boxes. Also, beware of outdated cake, brownie and cookie mixes.

I myself will not be eating any of the above due to my weight loss goals, but I'll keep an eye out for the rest of my family.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I AM A WINNER!!!

I'm not sure who knows about the contest at my YMCA, so I will fill you all in. During the month of May, they gave us the opportunity to get a card that listed 9 different fitness classes that they offer. You had to do each class by the end of May. The classes included spin, water aerobics, cardio kick box, step, belly dancing, killer abs, and one that you could choose form anything. I chose water aerobics since I did that anyway. For all the classes you did, you got 5 Y bucks that you could use for any program. Mine totaled 45 and I am going to use them for Faith and Georgia's stroke lessons this summer. Anyway.....Today the drew from the cards that were full and I WON! I won a backpack cooler (which I really needed), 2 beach towels, sunglasses, sunblock (spf 4), ocean potion aloe lotion, one of these spray bottles with a fan on it, a book called "Don't stop laughing now" ( inspirational), a water bottle w/ one of those things that u put in the freezer in it and one free personal training session.

I'm so happy!

The pool is open!!

I have been looking forward to this part of summer ever since we started school last year. Well, now that it is open I plan on getting as tan as possible, fit as possible, and still keep up with everything else I have to do. Oh yeah, the kids love it too. :-)